Can't Count the Tears That Have Fallen
by Fangurl Phantomhive
Summary: When Alan is attacked and almost killed by a group of demons, Fangurl health's him back to normal while Eric, William, Grell, and Ronald find the demons responsible. While recovering, Fangurl sees the emotional trauma Alan is experiencing and does her best to help him. Modern day era eventual Alan/Fangurl. Rated for sensitive material. R&R please
1. Chapter 1

Fangurl Phantomhive was sitting in the living room alone and watching TV. It was a Saturday night and Ciel and Sebastian were out visiting Lizzie in London for a few days, so it was really just her in the Phantomhive Manor for the weekend. She thought about asking Ronald to come over, since she'd been hanging out with him a lot lately. Fangurl liked Ronald a lot, and he treated her like a queen, but there was something about him that made Fangurl not see him as a potential boyfriend. Maybe it was just the fact that they were so close, she didn't want to make their friendship down spiral.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang on the front door. Fangurl got on her feet and slowly answered it. There she found Ronald, Eric, William, Grell, and a lump wrapped in a bed sheet that Eric was holding. "What's up guys? What happened?" she asked.

"Alan's been hurt Fangurl," Grell said lowly as she looked at the lump in Eric's arms.

"What?" Fangurl asked again. Alan was one of her closest Shinigami friends, so this got her concerned a lot more than she was a few seconds ago.

"He never came back to the apartment last night, or turned up to work today, so after the shift we went out looking for him," Eric explained. The girl could tell he was trying his hardest to hold back tears.

"Judging by the marks we found all over him, he was attacked by a demon, or even worse, a group of demons," William added.

"How does he look?" Fangurl questioned, dreading to discover the answer.

"Why don't we let you see," William suggested.

"Alright, Eric bring him inside and lay him on the couch," Fangurl instructed as she let her Shinigami friends inside, despite Ciel's constant warnings about letting Shinigamis inside the Phantomhive Manor.

Eric lay the wrapped up Alan down on the couch as gently as he could and then stepped back. Fangurl then unwrapped the bed sheet from around Alan's torso and was horrified at what she found.

Alan's body was covered in both fresh and dry blood. There were dark bruises on his face, arms, and torso. She saw vicious claw marks all over his body, and what looked like dust all over him. The worst part was his lack of clothing. Alan was wearing nothing at all, and that concerned Fangurl. "What happened to his clothes?" she eventually asked when she found her voice again.

"We don't know; we found him just like this. My guess is that the demons that did this to him took his belongings as well," Ronald said.

"Luckily I have his spare glasses," Eric added as he removed the pair from inside his work jacket and set them on the coffee table.

"He looks so damaged," Fangurl whispered as she lightly ran the back of her hand over his forehead. "Have you guys taken him to a hospital yet?"

"No, we wanted him to wake up and stay in an environment where he is comfortable and recognizes, and this is the first place we thought of," Eric explained.

"Could you maybe take care of him while we go out and find the bastards responsible for this?" Grell asked. Fangurl looked up and saw the four were serious.

"Guys, as much as I want to help him, I don't have the medical training necessary to take care of Alan," she reminded.

"Just at least watch him until he wakes up, and try to stop the bleeding if you could. Please Fangurl, we know you're capable of pulling surprising things," William pleaded.

Fangurl sighed, looked at Alan, and then back at the Shinigamis before saying "Alright, but I want three hour updates on you guys."

"Okay, we'll be back in the morning to check on him," Eric informed as the others summoned their death scythes. The Shinigamis walked out of the Phantomhive Manor and disappeared to the Shinigami Realm.


	2. Chapter 2

Fangurl rushed into the bathroom in search of band aids, gauzes, medicine, wash cloths, and cotton balls. She returned back to the living room and set the supplies on the coffee table. The girl then went into the kitchen and filled a bowl with warm water. Going back into the living room, she set the bowl down next to the wash cloths and knelt down beside Alan.

Gently, the girl dipped a washcloth into the water, rung it out, and then wiped Alan's dirty, bruised face. So much dirt and blood left his face to rest upon the washcloth that Fangurl had to get another one. "He'll need a bath when he wakes up," Fangurl decided to herself.

When she was finished bandaging up his upper body, Fangurl became worried. Should she check to make sure he was alright, down there? Of course Fangurl didn't want to overstep any boundaries, but she at least needed to check.

So the girl removed the sheet from around Alan fully, so that the sheet was underneath him. What Fangurl saw next almost made her want to vomit; the demons had mutilated his member, severely. He was bleeding rapidly, almost as if he'd been torn up from the inside, and his inner thighs were dark purple with bruises. Fangurl felt tears well and fall from her eyes as she began to clean up Alan, and manage to stop the bleeding.

When she'd finished, Fangurl wrapped the sheet back around Alan and picked him up bridal style. She carried him upstairs to her room and laid him on her chaise lounge. The girl grabbed some blankets that were piled in her closet and covered up Alan. Afterwards, Fangurl sat on her bed and watched over the Shinigami, as she continued to let tears fall from her eyes.

Ronald, Eric, William, and Grell went back to the place where they found Alan; in an old apartment in the southern part of the Shinigami Realm. The four had recurring feelings of sadness and torment when they walked into the room where they found their friend.

Eric remembered it all too well. He had picked up on the scent of demons coming from the apartment from down the street. Quickly, he called Ronald and told him to bring William and Grell to the apartment because something wasn't right. When the other three showed up, they broke down the door and found Alan tied up, beaten, unconscious, and lying on a blood stained mattress with three demons surrounding him. When the demons saw them, they fled before the Shinigamis had a chance to attack them. The next thing the Shinigamis did was wrap up their wounded friend and take him to the Phantomhives.

William, Grell, Eric, and Ronald looked around to find clues as to where the demons could've gone. "Do any of you remember what the demons looked like?" William asked his coworkers.

"They were all males, had black lips, orange eyes, and long black nails," Grell remembered.

"Do you think they would've gone back to the Demon Realm?" Ronald asked.

"Possibly, but if we describe them to Michaelis, he might be able to inform us on what kind of demons these are, and if there's a possibility of them returning," William suggested.

"Alright, let's get back to the Phantomhives and talk to Fangurl and see if he's there," Eric replied as he started walking out, unable to bear the sight of the bloody mattress any longer.

"I'm sorry guys, but Ciel and Sebastian are in London for a few days at Lizzie's and won't be back til tomorrow," Fangurl informed.

The four sighed. "C'mon, let's go to London and find him. We don't have a til tomorrow to wait," William told the others.

Before leaving, Eric asked Fangurl privately "How's Alan doing?"

"He hasn't woken up yet; but I cleaned him up and did some simple tests to see what was wrong with him," Fangurl responded.

"What did you find out?" Eric questioned.

"Well his bruises should heal in a few days, the claw marks will turn into possibly permanent scars, and there is no doubt that he will have PTSD," Fangurl informed. "His body is also showing signs of twenty four hour sleep deprivation."

Eric could sense a 'but' coming. "What else?" he wondered, almost afraid to hear the rest.

"He's been violated Eric," Fangurl stated. "Even more specifically, it seems that the demons penetrated him beyond taking. Alan's been gang raped and his lower area has been severely mutilated." The girl couldn't hold tears in any longer. Eric embraced her and hugged her while she cried. The Shinigami felt himself tear up as well. He let tears slide down his face.

Fangurl pulled away and said "I will take care of him Eric, I promise."

"I know you will Fangurl, me and the others trust you completely," Eric replied as he hugged her one more time before walking away with the other Shinigamis.


	3. Chapter 3

The girl walked back in the house and into the kitchen. She got a glass of water before going upstairs. Going over to Alan, she sat down next to him and lifted his head and shoulders. Carefully, she placed the glass to his lips and let some water run down his dry throat.

Setting the glass down on the table by the chaise lounge, Fangurl turned back to Alan and saw the Shinigami's eyes flicker underneath his lids. Suddenly, Alan Humphries opened up his eyes wide. Fangurl's face smiled as she said "Alan you're finally awake."

He looked over at her, and became terrified of what he saw. "What's wrong?" she asked as she reached out to touch his shoulders.

Alan backed away from Fangurl like her hands were lethal weapons. He fell off of the chaise lounge as he screeched out in fear. "No, don't touch me! Please don't touch me, just let me go home, please," Alan pleaded as he crawled across the carpet to one of the corners.

Fangurl dropped to her knees and slowly crawled over to him. "Alan, please, listen to me," she responded.

The girl felt her heart drop as she watched the brunette Shinigami curl into a ball, wrap the bed sheet around him tighter, and want to become nothing less of invisible. He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. "No, don't do it again please! I'm begging you! Please –"

"Alan," Fangurl whispered as she reached out and put her hands on his face; brushing her thumbs gently over his cheeks to help him relax. The Shinigami opened his eyes slowly and looked in Fangurl's eyes hesitantly. "It's okay Alan, it's okay."

Alan looked into Fangurl's eyes and soon began to recognize her again. "Fangurl?" he whispered back almost inaudibly.

The girl exhaled and released happy tears of relief as she replied quietly "Yes Alan, it's me, it's Fangurl."

He reached up and slowly put his hand on Fangurl's face. "This isn't a dream is it?" he asked worriedly.

Fangurl smiled and said "No sweetie, it's not a dream. You're in the Phantomhive Manor; you're safe now Alan."

When the brunette heard those words, he let his tears flow freely as he let out shuddered cries. Fangurl slowly took Alan in her arms and held him close while he sobbed his eyes out. He leaned his head against her chest, gripped her shirt, and whispered "Please don't leave me, please don't let them take me."

Fangurl ran her hand through Alan's hair and replied "Don't worry, I'm right here, I'm not gonna let them touch you."

Alan continued to cry, even when Fangurl helped him up and sat him back on the chaise lounge. "Do you remember what happened?" she asked.

This only made Alan cry even more. "They touched me, they hurt me, they hurt me!" he cried. Fangurl wrapped his arms around Alan and felt him lay his head against her shoulder.

"It's okay Alan, I won't let them hurt you anymore," Fangurl promised. She slowly ran her hands up and down his back, careful not to apply too much pressure to his scars or bruises.

"Where are Eric, and Ronald, and William, and Grell?" Alan asked looking around for his Shinigami companions.

"They've gone out to find the demons that did this to you. It's just you and me right now okay?" Fangurl informed. Alan nodded and leaned into Fangurl's touch. The demons had hurt him, but Fangurl was being gentle and delicate with him. He knew that Fangurl would keep him safe.

"I'm sorry Fangurl, I'm so sorry," Alan cried as he buried his face in her shoulder.

"Sweetie what are you sorry about? You've done nothing wrong," Fangurl responded quietly.

"Yes I did, I let someone other than my future mate touch and feel me." Alan looked up at Fangurl with his bloodshot yellow green eyes. "They made me impure; they violated me and made me do unwanted things. I'm a fallen Shinigami; I've committed sins with demons."

Fangurl shushed Alan as he cried even louder. "Alan listen to me, you were forced to do those things with the demons. You are not a fallen Shinigami. William is not gonna fire you over something like this; he's trying to put an end to this with Eric, Ronald, and Grell. Would you like to go take a bath so that you possibly may feel better?"

Alan nodded. "Can you come with me?" he requested.

"Yes I will," Fangurl agreed. She stood up and helped the Shinigami to his feet as he wrapped the sheet around himself tighter.

He took one step and fell to his knees. "It hurts Fangurl, I can't move, it hurts too much," Alan cried as he leaned against the girl.

Fangurl knew he was probably talking about his member and thighs. "I know sweetie, c'mon I'll help you," she whispered as she helped him back up to his feet and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Walking slowly, Fangurl took Alan into the bathroom. She ran warm water in the clawed-foot bathtub before undraping the bed sheet off of Alan slowly. He backed up a little bit, and Fangurl could sense he was nervous of his vulnerability. "Don't be nervous," Fangurl said quietly as she walked over to Alan slowly.

She held out her hand for Alan to take, and he did after a few moments. Fangurl led Alan over to the bathtub and helped him get in and sit down in the warm water. "Does it feel good?" she asked quietly as Fangurl reached for a washcloth.

"It kinda stings my scars," Alan muttered as he looked down at the water.

"I know sweetie, it'll hurt for a few minutes, but with time, it will get better," Fangurl promised. The girl hesitated before asking her next question. "Would you like me to wash you?"

Alan felt his eyes glisten with tears. He'd been touched roughly, violently, and abusively so much in the past twenty four hours, that Alan had almost forgotten what gentle touching was. But the Shinigami did trust Fangurl so he nodded. "Alright, I'll be as gentle as I possibly can," she replied.

Fangurl took a washcloth and dipped it in the warm water before gently wiping Alan's face with it. He sat there with his eyes closed, not wanting to look at Fangurl directly.

Silence filled the room as Fangurl reached for a spare loofa she had and began to scrub Alan's body clean of dirt and blood. When she reached the back of his thighs, Alan jolted a little. Fangurl pulled back instantly to show that she didn't mean to hurt him. "I'm sorry Alan, did I hurt you?" she wondered quietly.

"It's not your fault, there are just . . . marks there," Alan muttered.

"What kind of marks?" Fangurl asked.

Tears slid down his face as the Shinigami responded "One of them liked to bite me." Fangurl's eyes widened and her mouth dropped slightly. Carefully she placed her hand underneath Alan's thigh and could feel many teeth marks on the Shinigami's flesh. "Please don't, they humiliate me," Alan requested as he looked away from Fangurl.

"Okay, I'm sorry sweetheart," Fangurl whispered. After she finished washing Alan, Fangurl drained the bathtub and helped him stand. She dried him off and took him back into her bedroom. Luckily, Sebastian had just done some laundry that day, so there were clean clothes available.

Finally, the girl found Alan some boxers and a long, white, nightshirt to wear. As soon as he'd put them on, Alan curled up on the chaise lounge and looked at the fireplace. "Alan, why won't you look at me?" Fangurl wondered as she sat down in front of him.

Lowering his head, the brunette stated "Because I don't want you to be any more disgusted with me."

"Alan I'm not disgusted with you. What happened was not your fault whatsoever," she replied. He briefly locked eyes with Fangurl and she saw so many emotions running around; hurt, anger, sadness, humiliation, loneliness. She placed her hands on Alan's face and whispered "I look at you with just as much love and friendship as I did a few days ago."

Not but a few seconds after Fangurl said that, did Alan hurry into the safety of her arms as he tucked himself against her warm body. "Please don't leave me Fangurl, please," he cried as he buried his face in Fangurl's shirt.

"Don't worry sweetie, no one will take you from here. C'mon, let's go lie in bed, so hopefully you can get some sleep," Fangurl suggested as she stood up and led the brunette to the bed.

She and Alan lie down underneath the comforter and for the first time that night, Alan began to breathe calmly. Fangurl ran her hand through his hair and down his back to help him fall asleep. The girl looked down and saw his eyes were closed and that his arms were wrapped tightly around her.

Fangurl kissed the top of Alan's head before whispering "Sleep tight my sweet Shinigami."


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Fangurl awoke to find Alan hadn't moved an inch from where he'd fallen asleep. He still lay next to her, with his head on her chest and his arms wrapped around her. She hoped that Alan had had peaceful dreams that night, and was rather shocked that he hadn't woken up from a nightmare.

Fangurl pulled away from Alan gently, and got up to start making breakfast. She didn't know when the last time Alan had eaten anything was, so Fangurl made something light, hoping just to put something inside the Shinigami's stomach.

Alan Humphries awoke about ten minutes later to find himself lying in bed alone. He became nervous; Fangurl had been there with him when he had fallen asleep, but now she was gone. Had something happened to her; had the demons come and kidnapped her while he was sleeping? The thought of it made Alan begin to cry.

Luckily, a few moments later, Fangurl walked in carrying a tray of food and tea. When she saw the brunette crying, she set the tray down on the table and immediately hurried over to Alan and wrapped her arms around him. "Sweetie what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

"I thought someone had taken you while I slept," Alan replied as he leaned against the girl.

"No one took me, I was downstairs making you some breakfast," Fangurl informed as she stood up and brought the tray over to the bed.

She poured in tea into one of the petite cups, added a little sugar, and then handed the cup to Alan. Slowly, the brunette took it, lifted the cup to his lips, and drank down the sweet liquid. "Would you like some toast or fruit?" Fangurl offered.

Alan nodded so Fangurl handed him the tray. He then retrieved some grapes and half a piece of toast before eating them even slower. When he'd finished, Fangurl took him into the bathroom and took the nightshirt off him.

Carefully, Fangurl began to remove and replace the bloody bandages on Alan's wounds. She then redressed him and brushed his hair for him. Fangurl then led him back into her bedroom and sat him on the chaise lounge. As soon as they sat down, Alan heard a noise. "Someone's here," he informed.

The girl stood up to go observe, but Alan grabbed her hand and pleaded as he leaned his face against the back of her hand, "No, don't go, they'll take you too, and I don't want you to leave me."

She knelt down and stroked his hair. "Don't worry sweetie, they won't take me, and I will not leave you," Fangurl promised. She placed a light, chaste kiss on his forehead before walking downstairs to the front door.

Opening it up, Fangurl found the other Shinigamis. Without even saying hello, Fangurl let them inside and asked "What've you found?"

"Michaelis told us that they are nomadic demons who prey on any living thing nearby. Unfortunately, the living thing nearby was Alan," William informed.

"So how much closer does that put us to catching them?" Fangurl wondered.

"It's hard to say, it depends on how fast they pick up a scent and even if they dare to go back to a previous attack ground," Ronald said.

"How is Alan doing?" Eric questioned.

"Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that he's very paranoid and emotional that the demons are going to come back and take him, but the good news is that he woke up last night, was given a bath, had a full nights rest, and ate a small breakfast," Fangurl explained.

"Well we need to get him to the infirmary so the doctors can look at him better," William concluded.

"C'mon, he's upstairs," Fangurl said as she led the four up the stairs to her bedroom.

There, they found Alan still sitting on the chaise lounge. He saw Fangurl and held out his arms, like a toddler did when it wanted its' mother to hold it. Fangurl sat down beside him and put her arms around him gently while Alan laid his head on her lap. "As you can see, he's gotten very clingy as well."

Eric walked over to his best friend and said "Hey Alan, we're gonna take you to the hospital so they can look at you."

Alan's eyes widened and he tightened his grip around Fangurl. "No, don't take me away from her," he whispered.

"C'mon hun, the doctors will make you better," Grell agreed.

"Ronnie, help me get him up," Eric requested.

The two blondes went over to Alan and picked him up under each arm and that's when the brunette lost it. He began to thrash and hit and scream "Let me go! Don't take me away from her!", until finally, the two let him go.

Frantically, Alan crawled back over to Fangurl and wrapped his arms around the girl as he began to weep. "He's been doing this a lot lately as well; being very needing of comfort," the girl added as she began to gently stroke his brunette hair.

"Well he needs medical attention," William stated. "Will you come with us to the infirmary?"

"Alan, sweetie, do you want to go to the hospital?" Fangurl whispered to the brunette.

He nodded his head. "I wanna stay here with you," he replied quietly as he buried his face in her shirt.

Fangurl stroked his face as she turned to the other four and suggested "Why don't they come here, that way I can be with him through it all and he still gets the medical treatment he needs."

"I'll give them a call," William said as he walked over to the phone.

Eric, Ronald, and Grell looked at Alan and how he would cling onto Fangurl like a child did to a mother. "He's been traumatized severely and I guess since I was the first person who he saw when he woke up, Alan just attached himself to me because of my gentle actions," Fangurl concluded. She then whispered as she leaned her face against his hair, "I hate to see him like this though."

"You're not alone, we hate seeing him like this too," Eric agreed as he sat down beside Fangurl.

Alan hesitantly looked up at Eric. "Don't be afraid, he won't hurt you," Fangurl promised as she placed another light kiss on his face.

Still a little skeptical, Alan remained close to Fangurl. "God, what all happened to him?" Grell asked as she watched her distraught friend.

"He's been violated, abused, and it's probably not a lie to say that he was tortured," Fangurl replied.

"Have you gotten him to tell you anything?" Ronald wondered as he leaned against a bedpost.

"When I was bathing him, I felt on the back of his thighs, teeth marks," Fangurl slowly explained. The Shinigamis' eyes widened.

"They bit him?" Eric asked, with fury growing in his voice.

"Yes, Alan said one of them liked to bite him," Fangurl confirmed.

William walked back over to them and informed "There are a couple doctors that are going to come out and look at him as soon as possible. Fangurl do you mind letting him stay here until we get this whole ordeal straightened out?"

"Yes, he may stay as long as he needs too," Fangurl agreed.

"What about when the kid gets back and sees him here?" Ronald reminded. "You know him and that butler of his got problems with us."

"I'll deal with them when they come back, but for right now my main priority is taking care of Alan," Fangurl replied.

"How long do you think he'll be in this clingy stage?" Eric asked.

"It's hard to say, we'll have to see what the doctors say. Only they can truly diagnose Alan with PTSD, but more than likely he has it, and he'll stay clingy til he feels like he can trust people again," Fangurl explained. She looked down at the brunette and saw that his eyes were closed and his breathing was slow.

"He seems so calm now," Grell noticed.

"Yeah, he's usually calm if I sit by him and keep my hands on his head," Fangurl informed.

There then came a knock on the front door. "That must be the doctors," William assumed as he walked downstairs and opened the front door.

"Hello Mr. Spears, we were called here to check on an Alan Humphries?" one of the doctors asked.

"Yes, right this way; I must warn you though that he is very clingy to our friend Fangurl so don't be alarmed if he lashes out at you," William warned.

"Don't worry Mr. Spears, if he gets out of hand we'll drug him if need be," the other doctor said.


	5. Chapter 5

The three walked into the bedroom and Alan turned his head to look at them. He then looked up at Fangurl with a nervous expression. "Don't worry sweetie, I'm right here," she whispered.

Alan sat up slowly as the doctors knelt down in front of him. They began to examine his eyes and mouth before asking "Could you please undress so we can look at the rest of your body?"

He looked towards Fangurl and she understood. Alan didn't want the doctors touching him, so she scooted closer to him and began to undo the buttons on the nightshirt. Soon Alan sat there in only the boxers that Fangurl had given him. She held his hand as the doctors examined his scars. "Was he sexually violated?" a doctor questioned.

Fangurl nodded. "We'll need to take him into another room and see if we are to get the proper diagnosis," the other explained.

Alan heard the phrase 'take him into another room' and began to cry. This meant that he would be alone with strangers, and away from Fangurl, his protection. The girl saw his tears and then gently asked "Do you want me to go with you?"

He shook his head up and down. Fangurl turned to the doctors. "May I accompany him so that he will hopefully cooperate?"

"Yes, please," one of them agreed.

"Alright, if you want to, we'll use the bathroom right down the hall," Fangurl suggested as she stood and helped Alan stand as well.

They took him into the bathroom and then examined Alan more carefully. "He's been more than violated, he's been brutally penetrated," one of the doctors stated.

"You were very lucky to bandage him up when you did, a little more blood loss, and he could've died," the other added.

When all the Shinigamis met back in Fangurl's room, the doctors gave the friends Alan's evaluation. "Judging by the hesitance of eye contact, shakiness, lack of trust, and ever-changing emotions, we have no doubt that Alan Humphries is experiencing PTSD. We verified the claw markings on his body to belong to demons, and he has been penetrated many times that his lower body may possibly be permanently damaged, and there could be future signs of infertility."

This time, the Shinigamis and Fangurl felt like crying. Fangurl did cry though; she buried her face in the brunette's hair and cried for him. Cruel demon bastards had stolen sweet, innocent Alan's virginity and very well may have taken away his ability to have children of his own. "What do you suggest we do to help him?" Eric questioned after a few minutes of silence.

"As of now, all you can do is help him get back to the way he was slowly," they replied.

After the doctors left, Eric, Ronald, Grell, and William promised to track down the demons before returning again. Fangurl told them to do whatever they needed to do, and she promised to take care of Alan.

Turning to the brunette, Fangurl whispered "Alan, I'm going to go take a quick shower, so just stay in here and try to relax."

"You're going to leave me?" he asked.

"No, I'll be right down the hall if you need me alright?" Fangurl checked. Alan nodded as though he understood. Fangurl grabbed some clean clothes and rushed to the bathroom; she knew this would have to be a quick shower.

As Fangurl showered, Alan continued to sit on the chaise lounge and eat a little more fruit that she'd brought in earlier. "Well, well, looks like we found our little toy didn't we boys?" a voice that sounded all too familiar to Alan said.

He huddled against the chaise lounge and began to mutter "Please don't hurt me, please leave me alone." But soon after, the brunette felt six hands touch his body again as he was pulled to his feet.

A hand covered his mouth. "If you scream, we will rape you until you pass out," a demon warned. Alan nodded fearfully. The hand was removed from his mouth and rough lips replaced it.

While the leader forcefully made out with Alan, another began to molest his lower body, while the other one was biting the back of his neck and running his claws slowly down Alan's spine. When they were through, the leader spoke up again and stated "Now you listen here Shinigami. Unless you want us to attack and murder that pretty strawberry blonde in the shower, you will abuse yourself for us."

"No, don't hurt Fangurl, please don't hurt Fangurl," Alan pleaded.

One of them took a knife from the tray Fangurl had brought up and handed it to Alan. "Then cut yourself," he stated.

The brunette's eyes widened, but he wanted to make sure Fangurl stayed safe, so he obeyed the demon's command and sliced the skin on his wrist once, twice, until there were about ten bloody marks on his arm. "That's good enough," the leader responded. He walked forward to the sobbing Shinigami, grabbed his face in one hand and said lowly "Just remember, we own you, you little bitch." He released Alan's face and threw him down onto the carpet. Alan began to sob loudly as he curled into a ball and held his arm.

Fangurl quickly rushed into the room and saw the mess before her. She hurried over to Alan and took him in her arms. "Sweetheart what did you do?" she asked.

"They made me do it," Alan cried.

"Who Alan, there's no one here, and if there was, I would've picked up their scent," Fangurl replied. Then she understood; Alan had a hallucination that the demons had come back for him and forced him to hurt himself, when it was really just a way he was coping with the situation.

She took him into the bathroom and bandaged up his arm. "They said they would hurt you if I screamed, so I didn't scream," the brunette muttered.

Fangurl held Alan's face gently in her hands. "Sweetie, nobody told you anything, you just imagined they did," she whispered.

"But it seemed so real, the voices, their touching, everything seemed real," Alan responded.

"Don't worry, it'll all be straightened out soon," Fangurl promised as she and Alan returned to her room. Fangurl had managed to get Alan to lie down and take a nap, but only if he could sleep with his head on her lap. She put him to sleep by humming a lullaby to him and lightly stroking his brunette hair.


	6. Chapter 6

Ciel and Sebastian returned home that day. When they walked in, Ciel noticed that nothing was out of place downstairs, until he found bloody washcloths in the laundry room. "With any luck, it's a suicide note she left us," Sebastian said.

"Don't give your hopes up, you know we can't get rid of her that easily," Ciel reminded.

Walking upstairs, Ciel and Sebastian knocked on Fangurl's bedroom door before opening it up and finding the girl holding the sleeping Shinigami in her arms. "Fangurl; what is that Shinigami doing in my manor?!" Ciel yelled.

Fangurl silenced him before replying "Alan has been gang raped by a group of demons, and I'm taking care of him while Eric, Ronnie, Grell, and William try to find them."

"I should've known he was here after those four showed up," Sebastian realized.

"Ciel, he's been hurt, and he's severely traumatized, I just want to help my friend," Fangurl said.

The Phantomhive boy saw the seriousness and concern in her eyes and replied "Very well, you may take care of him until he has healed, but he's your responsibility." Fangurl nodded before he left with Sebastian.

Alan heard the door close and immediately shot his head up. "It's okay sweetie, no one's here, go back to sleep," she promised as Alan lowered his head and Fangurl began to stroke his hair again. Leaning down, she placed a kiss on his face. "If only you knew how much I always wanted to take care of you." Fangurl covered up the Shinigami before she leaned her head back and took a nap as well.

It was almost twilight when Alan awoke from his slumber. The brunette stood up and walked over to the window. He had this haunting feeling that the demons were really watching him, and had really threatened to kill Fangurl. Looking down at his wrist, he saw the ten blade marks he'd put upon himself, because of what Fangurl had said was a hallucinogenic command.

Speaking of Fangurl, the Shinigami turned to see the girl still asleep on the chaise lounge. Going over to her, Alan sat down next to her and reached out to stroke the back of his hand across her face. He felt like such a burden to her, and wished that none of this had ever happened.

Standing up, Alan walked over to the table and picked up the knife again. There was blood stained onto the steel utensil that had come from his own veins, and he was about to add more. Sitting down on the carpet, Alan slid the knife across his arms once again, before unbuttoning the nightshirt and gazing down at his tan skin. Closing his eyes, Alan could hear the demon's words echo through his head about how if he didn't harm himself, they'd hurt or even kill Fangurl.

Keeping his eyes shut tight, Alan bit his lip as he slashed his own chest and stomach with the knife. Tears welled up and fell but he continued on. He didn't care if he died by this point, life felt like all meaning and worth was gone.

But before he could go on much longer, the brunette felt the gentle touch of something on his hands as the knife was slowly forced out of his grasp. Opening his eyes, Alan saw Fangurl in front of him with a look of sadness on her face. She helped him stand up and took him into her bathroom.

Silently, she cleaned up his wounds before starting to put his nightshirt back on him. Alan grabbed her wrist and looked at her as if his eyes were telling her to stop. "Alan, are you okay?" she asked.

The Shinigami then leaned forward and placed a kiss on Fangurl's lips. "Please don't hate me for doing that," he quietly pleaded.

"I don't hate you sweetie; is this what you want?" she replied.

"You are what I want Fangurl. You take care of me, you're patient with me, and I love you," Alan responded slowly.

Fangurl stroked Alan's face with her fingertips and felt the Shinigami take her hand and press it against his face as he took her in. Gently, Fangurl wrapped her arms around the brunette and kissed him again. Alan remembered all the forced, rough, and unwanted kissing he had to do with the demons, but Fangurl kissed him gently and lovingly.

"I love you too Alan," the girl whispered as they leaned their foreheads together.

The Shinigami began to cry when he heard her whisper her words. Alan had wanted to hear Fangurl tell him she loved him for a while, but was scared to make a move because of his assumption of her crush on Ronald. He felt her wipe away his tears as she shushed his crying quietly. But he was also crying at the fact that Fangurl was a pure, untainted virgin, whereas he had been violated, torn up from the inside, and touched by demons. Alan didn't want to put Fangurl through the emotional stress of being with someone like him.

"Alan, sweetie, don't cry," Fangurl muttered as she wiped away his tears. "It's okay, you've done nothing wrong."

"But I've been torn up and abused, are you okay with being with someone like me?" he wondered.

As a response, Fangurl pressed her lips to his again. "You are a beautiful Shinigami and nothing would make me happier than being with you. You've been beaten and raped by demons, but that doesn't mean that you don't deserve to have someone love you just as much as before," she said.

With that answer, Alan placed his hands on her neck as he began to kiss her passionately. Fangurl placed her hands on his chest as she returned Alan's kiss. "Let's continue in your room," Alan suggested after pulling away and running a hand through her hair.

Fangurl seemed to agree with his decision, for she took his hand and led him into her room, locked the door, seated them both on the chaise lounge, and returned to kissing him. Alan slid his tongue over her lips as he tasted Fangurl. She was sweet and soft and gentle and the brunette seemed to crave her more with each new kiss he gave her.

The girl opened her mouth and slowly, yet lovingly invited Alan's tongue in with her own. The Shinigami hesitated before entering her mouth and felt their tongues play and love each other. Fangurl pulled away and said quietly "I can't do this right now."

Alan sat there and felt his heart begin to break at her rejection. "I'm sorry, I never should've done anything," he muttered.

"Sweetheart, it's not your fault; it's just that, I don't think you're prepared mentally or physically enough for this yet. It's only been about a day since you were found. I think it's a good idea if we wait a little while, until you've healed both psychologically and bodily so that no harm will come to you," Fangurl explained.

The Shinigami felt tears well in his eyes as he held onto her hands. "How long do we need to wait?" he wondered.

"At least a couple of weeks, but as soon as you've healed some, we will take it a step further, I promise," she whispered before gently pressing a kiss on his lips.

Alan wrapped his arms around Fangurl and laid his face on her neck. "I'll wait however long I have to, to be with you," he said.

Fangurl began to stroke his brunette hair as she leaned her head against his. The two then heard Ciel call Fangurl from his office. "I have to go see what Ciel wants," the girl stated as she stood up.

Alan grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. "Please don't be gone long. I hate it when you're away from me for long periods of time," the Shinigami pleaded.

The girl smiled and kissed his lips before leaving the room and entering Ciel's office. There, she found the other four Shinigamis. "We have a way to lure the demons into a trap and catch them," Ronald informed.


	7. Chapter 7

"What's the plan?" Fangurl wondered.

"We use bait to lure in the demons, and just about when they think they'll have their way with the bait, we attack and kill them with our scythes," Eric explained. "The only problem is, is that we don't have bait."

"Well you're not using Alan, the poor thing has already been through enough already," Fangurl stated.

"Fangurl what other choice do we have?" Grell asked.

"No, I'm putting my foot down on this one, you aren't putting Alan anywhere near those bastards again," Fangurl firmly said.

Unknown to any of them, Alan had slipped out of Fangurl's room and was listening outside the room. "What do you suggest we do then?" William questioned as he pushed his glasses up.

"Use me instead," Fangurl responded. The room fell silent. Even Ciel and Sebastian were startled by her response. Alan felt his heart pound at the thoughts of what those demons might try to do to Fangurl.

Using all his strength, Alan stumbled into the room fell at the girl's legs. "No, you can't go, they will hurt you. I can't lose you, not now, not after everything that's happened," Alan cried.

Fangurl knelt down next to the brunette and wrapped her arms around him. "Nothing will happen to me, everything will be alright. I'd much rather sacrifice myself than live with the fact that I sent you back to literally face your demons again," she whispered.

The Shinigamis, Ciel, and Sebastian were surprised and shocked to see Alan reach up and kiss Fangurl's lips. "I can't lose you; I wouldn't want to go on without you," he replied.

"You won't lose me, I'll go and murder those sons of bitches for doing this to you, and then I'll come back home, hold you close to me, and take care of you until you've healed," Fangurl promised. Turning back to the other Shinigamis, she then asked "When do you want to put the plan into action?"

"Tomorrow evening," William stated. "We'll arrive around five to retrieve you and more than likely won't be back til Tuesday."

"Alright, I'll be ready," Fangurl promised. After the Shinigamis left, Fangurl and Alan returned to her room. Alan was silent as he lay down on Fangurl's bed and buried his face in her pillow.

"You're still upset about this aren't you?" Fangurl asked quietly as she sat down beside him and began to rub his back. He nodded against the head cushion. Fangurl sighed. "Sweetie, nothing will happen."

Alan's head shot up as he looked at her with tears rolling down his cheeks. "You don't know that. Those demons are relentless; they will tie you up and hurt you like they did me. I can't live with myself if that happens to you Fangurl!" he yelled. The Shinigami dropped his head back onto the pillow as he sobbed loudly.

Fangurl laid down beside him and pulled the brunette closer to her. Alan tucked his head under her chin and cried into her chest as she stroked his hair. "I know you're scared, but those demons won't take me away from you. William, Grell, Ronald, and Eric won't let them hurt me. You trust your friends and you trust me, don't you?"

He nodded as his crying grew quieter. "Then trust that they'll protect me." Alan raised his head and leaned his face against the girl's. She gently kissed his lips as the moon rose outside the bedroom window.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Alan awoke first and saw that he was still wrapped in Fangurl's protective yet gentle arms. He nuzzled his face into Fangurl's warm neck and took in her scent; because it might be the last time he could. Alan couldn't fathom the thought of losing Fangurl; quite frankly, he was more scared of her decision than she was.

The Shinigami kissed her neck before feeling the girl's gentle hand run through his hair. "Did you sleep any last night?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, a little," Alan replied. He felt Fangurl bend her head and kiss his hair lightly before sitting up.

"I slept good, just woke up a few times in the middle of the night," she informed. "You were crying."

Alan looked at her. "I was?" he asked trying to sound surprised. It was true though. He did wake up in the middle of the night several times because of the constant nightmares he had of the demons hurting Fangurl. Each time he awoke, Alan was so scared and relieved at the same time, that all he could do was cry.

Fangurl nodded. "How are you feeling this morning?" she asked as she rubbed her fingers down his back.

"A little better," Alan admitted.

"That's good, I'm gonna ask Ciel and Sebastian to keep an eye on you tonight while I'm out with the others," Fangurl replied.

The girl and Shinigami sat there in silence for a few moments before Alan threw his arms around her and began to cry again. "Please don't go Fangurl, I'm begging you. Please just stay here with me so that I know you're safe," he pleaded.

Fangurl lifted his face to hers and kissed his lips gently. "I made a commitment to the other Shinigamis that I would help them, and this is one of the only other ways they can do it without using you as the bait."

"But Fangurl –"

"I will not have them sacrificing you to those heartless bastards again." Fangurl placed her hands on Alan's face and wiped away the tears. "I will put my life on the line for you to be safe and out of harm's way."

"Why would you do something crazy like that for me?" Alan whispered as the tears kept rolling.

Fangurl put her lips back on Alan's lips again before responding "Because people do crazy shenanigans for the ones they're in love with." Alan laid his head under Fangurl's chin and held her as she held and comforted him.

Later that evening, Ronald, William, Eric, and Grell showed up to retrieve Fangurl. "Are you ready to go?" William asked.

"Hang on a second," Fangurl replied.

She turned to Alan and placed a kiss on his lips. "Please come back to me," Alan requested.

"I will, I promise," Fangurl responded before turning back to the others. "Okay I'm ready now."

Alan watched as the girl he loved left with his best friends to head face to face with the demons. The Shinigami then went back upstairs slowly to Fangurl's room, lay down on her bed, buried his face into her pillow, and softly began to weep.


	9. Chapter 9

Fangurl, Ronald, Eric, Grell, and William entered Shinigami Realm and took Fangurl to where they'd found Alan. The girl shut her eyes as soon as she saw the room where her beloved was kept while being abused, tortured, and raped. "Alright, let's get this show on the road. I wanna find these bastards and kill them before breakfast," Fangurl stated.

"Okay, so our plan is to keep you here in this room until the demons arrive. We'll let them think they have you in their grasp for a few moments before we barge in a kill them with our scythes," William informed.

"Question, how are we going to attract the demons to this location?" Fangurl asked.

"We asked Sebastian what scent most demons are attracted to, and his response was anything dying, because I guess there are souls up for grab," Ronald said. "So what we'll do is put some dead animals in here to get the demons to come this way."

"Alright, but they better hurry up and get here because I hate the smell of death, it's too grisly and grimy for me," Fangurl replied. The Shinigamis lay out the dead animals that they'd collected in the room with Fangurl before stepping out of the room.

Fangurl took the chance to look around the room where Alan was kept while she waited. In one corner there were chains, metal rods, and what appeared to be syringes. The walls were covered in blood and some of the wallpaper had claw marks from some of the demons, which made Fangurl assume Alan had tried to run.

Looking at the mattress, she could approximate what position Alan had been in based on blood and semen loss. It appeared that for the most of the time, Alan was seated on the mattress with his legs straight in front of him, but occasionally stood up. Fangurl felt her eyes water at the thought of what these demons had done to him.

After four hours of waiting, the Shinigamis felt that they should wait until another day, but Fangurl was persistent and demanded they stay longer. Later, about half an hour, Fangurl could sense demons were coming in her direction. "C'mon you bastards, I'm waiting," she muttered. Fangurl turned her head to see three demons standing across the room from her.

In the Phantomhive Manor, Sebastian was trying to make Alan eat something, but he refused. "If you don't eat, you won't have strength," Sebastian reminded.

"I'm not eating until Fangurl is safe at home," Alan stated before the butler left him alone in the bedroom.

The brunette lay on the chaise lounge and looked out the window as he snuggled against Fangurl's pillow. "Please be safe Fangurl," he whispered.

"Well, well, what have we here?" the leader asked his companions as he examined Fangurl.

"Are you the bastards that raped and tortured my friend?" Fangurl venomously questioned.

"The brunette from a few days ago; oh yeah, he was fun," another stated. Fangurl gritted her teeth.

"Except he struggled a lot so we had to drug him a few times," the third added with a grin.

"Why would you do that to him you sons of bitches?" Fangurl yelled, as she felt her inner true self begin to come out.

"What do you, a little human girl, care if we played around with a Shinigami?" the leader asked.

"I'm not fully human," Fangurl replied quietly as her eyes turned from blue to a deep scarlet red.

"Oh you're a hybrid demon," one figured.

"Really now dumbass," Fangurl said sarcastically. "Now what I'm going to do is murder you bastards for hurting and scarring my friend." Her demon fangs began to form slowly and her hands grew into claws.

Just then, the Shinigamis barged in and began to attack the demons with their death scythes. Fangurl requested to kill the leader, since he did most of the dirty work to Alan. The half demon girl drove her fist through the demon's chest and ripped out whatever kind of heart he had inside of him.

Even after he was long dead, Fangurl kept stabbing and scratching him with her claws. Tears ran down her face as she screamed over and over "You sick son of a bitch! Don't ever touch my friends again!"

Ronald pulled her off of the demon as her claws transformed back into hands, her eyes reverted back to blue, and her fangs façaded as teeth. "It's over Fangurl, they're dead, they won't touch anyone ever again," Ronald promised quietly.

"You never told us you were half demon Fangurl," Eric realized.

"It's a secret I keep from a lot of people so that hopefully it won't scare them," Fangurl explained. "Do you guys have a problem with having a demon as a friend?"

The Shinigamis nodded. "You don't steal souls like their kind did. You're an exception," William stated.

"I'm what you call a vegetarian demon," Fangurl informed. "Meaning I don't eat human souls, just the occasional animal soul. Other than that I just eat human food since I am half human."

Fangurl returned to the Phantomhive Manor and walked upstairs to her room. According to Sebastian, when last he checked on Alan, the brunette was asleep on the chaise lounge. Entering her room, Fangurl saw him sleeping soundly on the furniture.

She walked over and sat down beside him and began to stroke his hair. Slowly, Alan opened his eyes and gasped quietly when he saw her. "I told you I'd come back to you," she whispered before Alan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips lovingly.

The girl heard Alan begin to cry as he answered "I thought I'd lost you forever."

Fangurl stroked his hair and replied quietly "No sweetie, I'm not leaving you. They're dead and you're not; you've beat your demons Alan." She kissed his head as the Shinigami cried into her neck.

Later on, Sebastian brought them some food, and informed Fangurl that Alan had eaten nothing while she was gone, so he might be hungry. She watched as the brunette ate slowly, but refused to move from her arms' hold.

When Alan finished eating, Fangurl put him in bed and stayed beside him until she was sure he was deep asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

She then entered Ciel's office and told him how it had gone. "You're sure they're dead?" he asked.

"Yes, the Shinigamis killed two with their scythes and I ripped out the leader's heart," Fangurl informed.

"Do you suppose you're reaper friend was the only one they attacked in the Shinigami Realm?" Ciel wondered.

"I doubt it highly; I think that many beings were attacked by these bastards and killed when the fun was over for them. Alan would've been dead if had it not been for his friends," Fangurl said.

"But you also helped Fangurl. William informed me that if you hadn't taken care of him especially that first night, then he probably wouldn't have woken up," Ciel reminded.

"I just look after my friends and make sure no one hurts them," the girl replied. "I'm just glad Alan has the feeling that he's safe now."

"How much longer do you plan on helping him heal?" Ciel questioned.

"As long as he needs," Fangurl stated.

"Fangurl, you do realize Alan has to leave sometime and return to the Shinigami Realm," Ciel assumed.

"Yes, I understand that, but until I feel like he can stay by himself without needing anyone, then I'll let him return, but he's still very clingy and needing of me," Fangurl explained.

"Very well, but once he heals, he needs to leave. He belongs in the Shinigami Realm just like we belong in the Human Realm," Ciel proclaimed.

"Ciel, I also need to add that Alan, kind of has fallen in love with me," she notified slowly.

The boy looked at her for a few moments. "Fangurl, you know that I already have a strict rule about there being Shinigamis in this Manor. Now under no circumstances are you two allowed to have a private life together under this roof," he declared. "If you want to live with him in the Shinigami Realm then by all means go, but until then, you two are not to have a relationship."

Fangurl nodded before turning and leaving his office and returning to her room. Alan was still asleep under the blanket, but Fangurl noticed he was trembling in his sleep and could see his eyes dart under his lids. She quickly guessed Alan was having a nightmare, and her hypothesis was proven correct when she heard him call out "No, don't hurt her, please . . . no don't take Fangurl . . . no please . . ."

The girl rushed over to the sleeping brunette and shook him gently. Alan awoke and wrapped his arms around the girl as she lay down beside him. As he began to weep, Fangurl stroked his hair and shushed him quietly before whispering "It's okay Alan, I'm here. They won't hurt either of us."

Fangurl leaned back as she sat up a little. Alan looked at her and began to gently kiss her lips again. "Don't ever leave me Fangurl, please. I couldn't bear the thought of any demons hurting you," Alan pleaded.

She hugged him tightly to her before whispering "I will never leave you Alan." As he tucked his face in her neck, Fangurl muttered to herself "No matter how much Ciel wants to, he won't take you away from me."

"You promise?" Alan whispered. Fangurl kissed his head before nodding.

"He can try, but I will do everything I can to keep you safe and here the longest," she replied.


End file.
